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View Full Version : COK: i need some help/advice please.



-COK-
05-01-2007, 03:56 PM
i hate to ask something like this, but its causing my Mom
a great amount of stress.

anybody know who i should call to let the NAVY know that
my Father has passed on? they need to transfer his benifits into
my Moms name and accounts.

if anyone can think of other people i should contact,
or paperwork i should look for, please let me know!

im in such a thick mental fog right now, this is all i can think of
past calling family and finding Dads DD-214 so he can have
the Military send-off he deserves. they will play taps,
and preform a flag folding, but he wont get his 4 gun salute.
after 911, as his plot is next to the Niagara Falls power station
and its resivoir, and next to a bridge from Canada,
no gunfire is allowed. (as-per the funeral home director)

heres what i got so far, as to people/institutations i need to contact:

> Shift Colors.
(a Navy magazine for retired personel, to announce his passing)
they might be able to help me get the right phone numbers, etc.
its the only contact information my Dad left us.

> the VA hospital in Buffalo?
not sure who to talk to there tho?
ill need a whole leagal pad just to cover the phone numbers
they pass around? i got to try it tho...

> my Dads auto insurance.
it needs to go on my Moms name now.
i dont know WTF is going to happen here?

> the bank.
my Mom wants to put me in place of my Dads name in thier
joint checking account. this is so i can sign checks to pay her bills.
i think the bank can fix this, with an in-person(s) visit.

(on a side note, Dad didnt tell Mom or me anything about "the finances",
he took care of all of that by himself, and when he passed so very quickly, he left my Mom in a very difficult situation. she dosnt know who to call, or what to do. dont be like my Dad, and have a "Living-Will-Kit" sitting
on your desk collecting dust. you have to fill that stuff out,
that way, your loved ones can carry-out your last wishes the way you wanted it done, and in my case, so Mom knows who to contact.)
its morbid. its terrible. but it needs to be done, when your still alive.

> the florist,
i want to get Dad a nice wreath, perhaps Navy themed?
hes going in the dirt Friday at 1PM, so i have to DT this effort.


> his/her life insurance/paperwork???
i have no idea where its at, or what to do with it! (see BANK statement)



damn guys, im so lost right now, its not funny. life is a total blur,
its like everything is moving in slow-motion to me? (shock?)

if you can tell me more about any and everything i can do to
secure my Moms future from my Dads Navy pension/benifets
please let me know ASAP!

and if you know about these things, tell me how to find out about
my Dads assets. my Mom is going to need that info.

were not even sure what the hospital bill is going to be,
because we dont know what insurance Dad had covering him?
he never told us? it could wipe Mom out!?

d

PS: let me know, ASAP!

Otis61
05-01-2007, 04:17 PM
-COK-
Again I'm very sorry. The first thing I'd say is caim your mother down. Ask her to trust in God and then trust in you.

M1 Tanker
05-01-2007, 04:19 PM
Dave, step 1:

Here is the New York number:

866.203.7791
and website
http://www.militaryfuneralhonors.osd.mil/

All you need is his DD-214.

God Bless ya'll.

CETME .308
05-01-2007, 05:56 PM
Dave-

As far as the bank goes, you should just have to provide the death certificate, and fill out some signature forms so you have access to the accounts.

Do you know who the life/health insurance was through? Give the company a call and try to get a copy of the policies.

Doesn't your father have VA benefits?

The funeral home should be the ones checking out military honors. (at least that is what did with my grandfather)

Hope this helps at least a little.

I am praying for you and your mother.

Good Luck Dave.

rustypirate
05-02-2007, 05:12 AM
Dave,

The Department of Vetrans' Affiars is who you would contact for arranging to transfer your Dad's benfits to your Mom. they have a website, and here is a URL:

http://www.vba.va.gov/bln/dependents/index.htm

tump
05-02-2007, 06:18 AM
sorry about your father cok i went threw this last year so i know were your at.tell your mom to keep a close eye on the mail. checkfor anything that looks important credit card bills(don't let them get behind they don't care),and just look at the mail real close.my mother just found out about $7,500 in stocks from a company within the past 2 months.(anual report or something clued her in). god bless

DAA1
05-02-2007, 07:24 AM
They are the ones to go to on benefits in a case like this.
Here in WI we have county service officers who help out when dealing with the VA.

Sorry for your loss, just be calm and take things one at a time, times like this everything seems to snowball and it is hard to sort things out.

RandyCOG3
05-02-2007, 10:53 PM
Dave:
Sorry to hear of your loss.
I don't know how the laws vary from state-to-state, but if your dad left no will, you'll probably need a lawyer.
When my mother passed away, the lawyer charged $3k and 3% of the estate to handle things. Don't know if that's high or low, and don't care, could NOT have gotten it done without him and his staff, ever.
I'd hope a good lawyer could track down whatever life insurance, bank accounts, etc. your dad had. There's 1001 things you and your mother probably would never think of, that's old news to a good lawyer.
Good luck with everything; we're here if you need us.

RandyCOG3