Joke time again

[Jacobite]

SPAGHETTI

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 8 month later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread..."

[Drew]

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

[RandyCOG3]

I came across this; I don't know if it's true, or not, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Mao was once asked what he thought would have happened if Kruschev had died instead of Kennedy. ``Well,'' he replied after much deliberation, ``I doubt if Aristotle Onassis would have married Mrs. Kruschev.''

RandyCOG3

[Fido Dog]

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat sipping his drink,
a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and
asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life,
breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,
bailing hay, doctoring calves,
cleaning my barn, fixing flats,
working on tractors, and feeding my dogs,
so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my
whole day thinking about women. As soon
as I get up in the morning,
I think about women. When I shower,
I think about women. When I watch TV,
I think about women. I even
think about women when I eat.
It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down
on the other side of the old cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was,
but I just found out I'm a lesbian."


:thumbup::icon_biggrin::thumbup:

[mistersquiggles]

A great answer to a dumb question!!!!

http://www.militaryfirearm.com/Forum/cid:1084106139000000@web38009.mail.mud.yahoo.com

Katie Couric, while interviewing a Marine sniper,asked:

'What do you feel when you shoot a Terrorist?'The Marine shrugged and replied,

'A slight recoil.'

[rep30cal]

In 1850 California became a state and at that time,
the state had no electricity,
the state had no money,
the state spoke mostly Spanish,
and there were gunfights in the streets....

Basically the same as it is today, but the women had real boobs
and the men didn't hold hands.