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hunter_la5
02-09-2008, 03:28 PM
:drink:


I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.


I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.



The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.


The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it! As it jerked me off my fee! t and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.


Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.


That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the Co-Op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like ********. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling, "What happened?"


I have never seen any law in the state of Oklahoma that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the ******** out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the Co-Op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk".



I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering, "There is the dumbass that tried to rope the deer!"

Norton
02-09-2008, 08:16 PM
Hunter.. I am speechless. That is one of the most bizare things I have ever read.

nowhereman
02-09-2008, 08:27 PM
Well ummm. Damn, traumatic. I hate to say it but it probably would have died in captivity at that level of developement anyway. Usually have to be raised from birth or yearling. Damn Dude!!!!!!! You are joking, have to be.......

pigpen
02-09-2008, 08:49 PM
Hope you get well soon man. Self medicate as necessary. :drink: Post some pics of that gash in your grape If I were in your situation I might have tried it too. I know I'm gonna try to help train one little horse my Sis & bro-in-law got a few months ago. It was 6 mos old when they got it & I think ther said they were gonna start working with her really hard this spring. She is a strong little bugger

K.O.A.M.
02-09-2008, 08:57 PM
We had night qualifications tonight. Coming home, there was a deer right outside the range, munching away. She could have cared less that people were banging away within a quarter mile.

Optimus Prime
02-09-2008, 09:15 PM
We always joke about doing a drive across the range durring night fire at McCoy... that would be pretty funny come morning.

SSwee
02-09-2008, 09:35 PM
I started laughing as soon as I read that you had the idea of roping the deer.
I haven't had any thing anywhere close to that magnitude but enough minor escapades with wildlife to know that they never do what you would expect and usually do what you would never imagine. Best story I've heard in many moons.
SS

hunter_la5
02-09-2008, 09:57 PM
You are joking, have to be.......

got this in an email forward, of course this is just satire :icon_biggrin:

MID
02-09-2008, 10:00 PM
roping a deer, its possible. I bet i could pull it off. The the main reason why i know i could do it, is well i always thought, it never a good idea to use yourself as an anchor. If that guy knew that little tid bit of info, i bet he would have been a tad bit more successfull.

SSwee
02-09-2008, 10:14 PM
If you do MID film it for us.
SS

nowhereman
02-09-2008, 10:29 PM
I have seen deer stand while you move stand close etc. But when you fling a rope at em and especially if it touch them gone. Unless they are basically pet deer ie yard deer even then they would take off. Are you really joking La? I am slightly gullible.

SSwee
02-09-2008, 10:37 PM
There has to be some truth to it based on an actual event. How many of you have seen the guy in camo messing with the deer while his wife filmed it and the deer kicked his butt something fierce.
SS

MID
02-09-2008, 10:47 PM
There has to be some truth to it based on an actual event. How many of you have seen the guy in camo messing with the deer while his wife filmed it and the deer kicked his butt something fierce.
SS
this one ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFoVws_o8To

SSwee
02-09-2008, 11:16 PM
Not that one. There are several out there. Probably more than Parks & Wildlife want to admit.
SS

M1 Tanker
02-10-2008, 01:28 AM
Very rarely do I read something on the Internet that makes me laugh....Hunter my friend, that had me in tears. True? Does it even matter? that was some funny stuff!

And MID, ....when people ask me what I need a knife that big, now they know they answer....so I don't get my ass kicked my a buck in rut.

Stillife
02-10-2008, 01:40 AM
Man... I'm laughing so hard I just woke my entire house so see this....

okie shooter
02-10-2008, 12:19 PM
Hmmm, lets just keep em in your backyard, oops guess everyone has a ten to twelve foot high fence, as your normal pens for cattle and horses wont keep one in anyway.

SteelCore
02-12-2008, 10:19 AM
That, was funny. Deer are skittish and dangerous, and tehy use their antlers too, if they've got them. Anyone who goes up to a large herbivore (bison, elk, moose, deer) is taking their life into their own hands.

In the stone age and before, these things were hunted by weaving barricades in the woods that channeled herds into pit traps or over cliffs, where they could be safely dispatched wit pointed stick or brained with heavy rocks. (i.e., those pictures you see of hunters attacking wooly mammouths with spears are total BS...early man knew what 'bleedin out' or crushed to a pulp' meant firsthand)
Another trick was net hunting, then braining the animal with a rock.


Anyhow, Great story.

dpoe
02-12-2008, 01:06 PM
that might have been one of the funniest things I've read

cfish
02-13-2008, 08:44 AM
Definately film it I need a good laugh.

brewskzilla
03-19-2008, 07:51 PM
Okay, I just had an anneurism laughing. I tried to read the story to my wife, and couldn't get through it for laughing. I was literally spasming, and I think I just coughed up my esophagus...