Current event: I'm finally divorced! Woohoo!!!

[SteelCore]

Well, it is official, and those of you form CETMErifles.com might remember this starting over two years ago with the weirdness I posted (mebbe it is better lost to the ether, on the old site) leading to the dissolution of the 15 yrs of marriage.

Well, I'm free, I now have an EX wife!

She really let me rule the roost on Heather's custody stuff, and really just refused to pay back her part of a debt and refused some drug testing...that was a weird story all in itself.

As I suspected...it was all about the money for her.

I retain the Physical custody of my daughter, and joint legal custody (unless she fails to pass a serices if future drug tests...and I have little confidence in her ability to put down the pipe long enuf to pass one, let alone two tests)

It was a 12-hour out-of-court mediation battle...I was so tired last night after that, and slept quite well as if a huge cloudbank had been lifted from my consciousness...

Here's who I fought for (the tall, silly one, the brunette is my bro's daughter):

[turbothis]

good for you!

[brewskzilla]

Good for you, man. Always good to know the children are in the hands of the more responsible. It's sad that, unless drugs are involved, the woman usually gets the kids with no questions asked, but in this case her drug use worked in your favor. I'm sure you're already wrapped around that girl's little finger. She's a cutie. I have a six year old daughter, myself, and she knows how to manipulate daddy.

[sdk1968]

bub this is a fight that is always worth having.........


your kids are always primary concern.

and now days, there are just as many women who dont deserve tham as there used to be deadbeat dads..

congrats on ironing it out and now you can start to look for your next ex wife.

oh and dont even try to say it wont happen cause no matter how many times we've all been there and said that....


you'll wind up with another woman in your life.

hang in there bub.

[JC Speiser]

Congatulations on your hard fought victory!

And she is most certainly worth fighting for!

I hope that she's able to cope with new arrangements...while I've been happliy married for 28 years I can only imagine what you have been going through, although my father and both my brother and sister have been through multiple marraiges.

Well done Sir!

[SteelCore]

Not me man! ;)

Brewz, alcohol/drugs were involved, and she is Manic-Depressive, was suicidal, self cutting, erratic, etc. The long record of her psychological problems also helped a bunch.

I've had my daughter for 2 yrs ince this all blew up, and my ex only had supervised visitation (i.e. was court ordered to be supervised by a third party during visits with daughter.)

During that time, my daughter has done well with pre-school, has a good head on her shoulders, starts kindergarten this fall, and is OK with the arrangements (She will sometimes tell me she loves mommy, and is OK that she doesn not live with us.)

[Planning]

YEP! IT IS USUALLY ALL ABOUT MONEY.
good for you for sticking it out to get your girl. it will be difficult, but well worth it.

my son finally got his divorce a couple years ago. he fought and got both of the boys. it was very hard at first, but with with our help, his x-in-laws help, it is working out very good. the x moved to another place 250 miles away and got remarried. she comes around 2 or 3 times a year to see the boys for a couple days.
i am the retired one so i get to help out when they are sick and take them to school and pick them up. it gives me something good to do during the week.

[tanstaafl4y]

Good for you. With that behind you you can continue to focus on raising your daughter.

[SteelCore]

of friend ad family, Planning.

Grandma helps out a lot.

[amd65]

Good luck and god bless

[tomoshenko]

Congtaulations! Your daughter is a lucky little girl.
I can relate to your experience as I am a custodial father also.
I got custody of my son when he was 3 yrs and with much help from my new wife raised him into a fine well rounded young man.

[Old Jimmy]

I am glad it went your way Steely, all too often the man barely wins visitation so its good that you got your daughter because if our kids aint worth fighting for then nothing else is.

[hulygan]

Good for you and the kids. It sounded like a pretty unhealhy situation for them, but now its over. Congrats.

[pgp888se]

congrats.glad to hear the kid is in good hands.
i have been there myself as the child in question and as the parent fighting for the good of the child.

best wishes,its only gonna get better from here.

[Woodman in MO]

Best wishes dude....Tomorrow is a new day.

[Schultz]

Congrats Steely! Enjoy the single life and raise that pretty little girl.

[SteelCore]

" got custody of my son when he was 3 yrs and with much help from my new wife raised him into a fine well rounded young man."

Nice, Tomo. If I could only be so fortunate as that...I just have lost a lotta faith in women as companions since mine was a dud.

I'm sure I'll come around, most folk I talk to say they later find a good one.

[Gairwyn]

What a cutie..I'm so glad things went in your favor and your daughter's.

Michelle

[tomoshenko]

" got custody of my son when he was 3 yrs and with much help from my new wife raised him into a fine well rounded young man."

Nice, Tomo. If I could only be so fortunate as that...I just have lost a lotta faith in women as companions since mine was a dud.

I'm sure I'll come around, most folk I talk to say they later find a good one.

My wife , my son's stepmom, is 180 degrees different than my ex in terms of responsibility and valuing what is truly important in life. She has been everything a mother should be to a child (Sometimes too good to him! She has a tendency to spoil him a bit but in a nice way that we all laugh about. She bought him that expensive outfit he's wearing). I got lucky and came up with a gem after having stepped in s#%T. Give it a little time and I'm sure you will find a good one too.

[SteelCore]

Thanks for that. Nice lookin family there.

[Norton]

Good for you and I am glad they gave you custody. My dad raised me and my brother solo and it was the best thing for us.
I am glad the courts are finaly starting to see men as equals in raising kids, rather than just a glorified ATM.
Again bravo to you mate and good luck with the rest of your life:thumbup:

[Otis61]

Congratulations are in order. congratulation!!!

[rifleman]

Good for you Steely, It will get better and better. now you can truely raise that little one of yours. Congrats.

[Rampager]

Good for you Steely!:thumbup:
I have a very good friend that got sole custody of his daughter under similar circumstances. I’ve got great respect for “single dads” now as a result of knowing him and his situation.

Keep in mind too (though I’m happily married with a great wife) that my 8 year daughter is my best little buddy. First thing we do when we go to Walmart is hit the toy aisle…not for me of course:rolleyes:. She's sort of a tomboy thanks to me.

Psssst…don’t tell anyone, but I love to get down on the floor and play with our World Peacekeepers (GI Joe type toys), along with launch model rockets, play with RC cars, shoot BB guns, practice Archery, shoot .22’s and ride bikes with her. Gives me a good excuse to be a kid again myself. I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way:rockon:.

Best of luck to you and always remember this is the best time of your life :thumbup:.

[tumbleweed1002]

Congrats!!!! I'm in a similar battle now for my 7yr old son and 12yr old daughter and its looking real good, I cant wait till the 28th of july for the outcome but I have little doubt that I will get sole custody. The EX is such a low life you just would not belive the sh#t she put the kids through.

[wwIIBuff]

Good for you and your daughter. Family is one of the few things worth fighting for

[sdk1968]

guess i have to own up here to Steely....

my dad got full custody of me and my sister when i was 6 mos old and with my gramma's help raised us both.

and bro that was in 1968!!! yeah it was really rare then.

[RandyCOG3]

Congrats! And kudos to the Judge and the mediators for seeing the light. It's remarkable that such a little person can have such a good grip on things as your little angel seems to have...hopefully it will stay that way <crossing my fingers for you>.
I never had any kids to fight over, but I'd be willing to bet that, just as you have dozens of like-minded friends here, she had plenty of 'ladies' similar to herself giving her all manner of 'expert' advice on how to milk you out of enough money to not have to work, buy her a new car, etc...
It probably doesn't happen 1 time out of 10, but it's nice to know that sometimes, in a case like this, the White Hat wins and the Black Hat gets run out of town by the law...
Best of luck with that other, little future heart-breaker...

WooHoo!

RandyCOG3

[pigpen]

Thats great news about getting custody! Thats really what it is all about. Me & my worse half split up about 2 months ago so I'll be gong thru a lot of the same crap you did. It is good to see guys can get custody!!

[CHSnake]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Went through the ordeal in the early nineties, I know some of your pain,had 4 children, came out with joint custody but had them all living with me before they got out of middle school.
The crazy things the EXs will do and say..... THANK GOD SHE IS GONE!!!!
was single for 5 years just the kids and me.
then out of nowhere I met a widow,(was getting a haircut, another story)) we were married in weeks not months, all three of the boys call her MOM and introduce Her as their Mother, and my Daughter and her are close.
Enjoy your little Angel, and sometime out of no where when you least expect it the right one will show up.
once again HOORAY and Congrats..

[tomoshenko]

Congrats! And kudos to the Judge and the mediators for seeing the light. It's remarkable that such a little person can have such a good grip on things as your little angel seems to have...hopefully it will stay that way <crossing my fingers for you>.
I never had any kids to fight over, but I'd be willing to bet that, just as you have dozens of like-minded friends here, she had plenty of 'ladies' similar to herself giving her all manner of 'expert' advice on how to milk you out of enough money to not have to work, buy her a new car, etc...
It probably doesn't happen 1 time out of 10, but it's nice to know that sometimes, in a case like this, the White Hat wins and the Black Hat gets run out of town by the law...
Best of luck with that other, little future heart-breaker...

WooHoo!

RandyCOG3



Just as a point of information for anyone interested..

At the time of my divorce in 1994 the actual stats regarding custody were
that in the eastern seaboard state the father only contests custody in 10% of the divorce cases. In those contested cases the father actually won
70% of the time. NH procedure at that time was that if both parties contested custody the court appoints a guardian ad litem in behalf of the child to evaluate the parenting skills, contacts, lifestyle etc. and makes a recomendation to the court. The guardian's assesment represents virtually 100% of how the court rules who will get custody.

[cfish]

Steely, Congrats man. Hope your daughter adjusts to the situation in the long run. The only advice I could offer for what its worth is, even if your feelings towards your ex are extreme anger and hatred, don't let your daughter know this. Someday your ex may come around straighten her life out and try to have a relationship with your daughter. The last thing your little girl ever needs is to feel all alone. Just my $.02 worth. Let her know everyday that she is special as she is to you. Good luck in the future. I couldn't imagine life without my 2 kids they are the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh and don't forget to take her shooting as well.

[wanno]

Congrats!
Know how you feel, about six years ago when I put in my retirement papers, my wife handed me divorce papers. Something about the fact that I won't be gone six months out of the year any more, which will cramp her social life??

My divorce was final on June 4th of 2002, I told the clerk of the court that I would put it off for one more month if they could schedule it with the judge for July 4th, the clerk asked me why and then I saw the light come on and she smiled. The person behind me in line heard me and asked why july 4th and the clerk answered Independance Day!!!!!
He laughed and asked the clerk if his could be scheduled that day to. She told us regretfully no they don't work on holidays.

[hunter_la5]

congrats steely! I'm glad to hear you got custody as well.

[SteelCore]

I guess it is a commentary on society if so many of us have been thru this.

cfish, I totally was given that same advice from a friend whose parent.s bad-mouthed each other to him as a kid...it built lotsa distance between them and him.

"Best of luck to you and always remember this is the best time of your life"
--You go it!

"Me & my worse half split up about 2 months ago so I'll be gong thru a lot of the same crap you did."
-->I'm pulling for you, man.

"my dad got full custody of me and my sister when i was 6 mos old and with my gramma's help raised us both."

Yeah, grandma helps out a lot with Heather, and Heather loves her like a mom....this makes my deadbeat ex insanely jealous.

[sdk1968]

trust me bub, that rjealousy thing will show up again as your daughter gets older from your ex..

hopefully she will not stay in your area.

when my "mother" was not given custody and only supervised visitation(remember it was the 60's...) she was so bitter and jealous that when she did get to do the visitation it was horrible!! she finally moved away and got on with her life.

for you and your daughter im hoping the same thing happens.

sean