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Thread: Joke thread

  1. #1111
    RicePaddyDaddy's Avatar
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    Short joke.......

    A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says, "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "Yep in-laws"

  2. #1112
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    Supposedly really true - I have not seen it myself though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Berlin View Post
    Is this really true, a wish, and or a joke?
    NRA Life member, Instructor and CRSO
    www.primercatcher.com

  3. #1113
    Senior Veteran Berlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The German View Post
    Supposedly really true - I have not seen it myself though.
    I need one!

  4. #1114
    Senior Veteran Jagman's Avatar
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  5. #1115
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    Monday I had surgery on left knee - yesterday per instructions took off bandages and also stretch hose they put on both legs and found this on my right knee.
    Not a joke, but I saw some humor in it---
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Occam's razor, the simplest explanation will be the most plausible

  6. #1116
    Senior Veteran nevada's Avatar
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    I like it Buck!
    RRRROOOWWWRRR PHHT PHHT I AM THE FORCE!

  7. #1117
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    An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

    The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said you were speeding!"

    The patrolman says, "May I see your license?" The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he wants to see your license!"

    The woman gives the officer her license. The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent a short time there and once went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

    The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He said he knows you!"
    The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.

  8. #1118
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    Bubba calls 9-1-1:

    911 Dispatcher: "911, what is your emergency?"

    Bubba: "My Betty Sue just collapsed on the kitchen floor!! I think she's having a heart attack!! Send an ambulance, quick!!"

    911 Dispatcher: "Will do, sir. What is your address?"

    Bubba: "1631 Eucalyptus Street."

    911 Dispatcher: "Could you spell that, please?"

    Bubba:"Umm...umm...how about if I just drag her over to Oak Street and you can meet us there?"
    The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.

  9. #1119
    RicePaddyDaddy's Avatar
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    GI insurance

    Cpl Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

    It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Cpl Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.

    Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

    Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:

    "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries.

    If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.

    Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

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